My husband and I were listening to “Chemical Worker’s Song” by Great Big Sea, and we joked that it would be hilarious to rewrite it for Star Trek redshirts. The next night, I woke up with the song in my head.


And it’s go, boys go, with phasers set to stun
And every mission you’re away could be your final one
And yet you go


Mallory blown to the sky. He tripped upon a rock.
Darnell became a salt lick for the ex-wife of the doc
It’s an honor serving on the starship Enterprise
But if you’re with Kirk in a red shirt, you gamble with your life

Kelso, he was strangled by the Captain’s Number One
Carlisle was killed by Nomad; he’s not the only one
So many perils out in space for Captain and the crew
The odds are high that you could die in shirts of gold or blue.

Kelso killed by magic, with no sympathy at all
Grant stabbed by a Kleegat just for acting mean is all.
We do our jobs, we roll the dice, we go along our way
And hope to God and Starfleet that we live another day

Watson killed by Kryton without a reason why
Leslie Thompson turned to dust, with nae a tear to cry
It seems like the command staff are destined to survive
While we the lower deck unknowns all fight to stay alive

Curious to know the names of those who died in ST: TOS? Check here for the list.