How do you feel about earworms? This one had me singing for weeks.

Chief of Security Log, Intergalactic Date 676940.24

What do you know? My music major is finally paying off. All this time I figured it was only good for boosting my g.p.a.

By the Captain’s orders, I found and commandeered two more crew members with hidden musical prowess. Lieutenant Misha Rosien plays amazing harp, while Minion McCoy Tyner in Engineering lives up to his ancestor’s expectations on the piano. With Rosien on the Bridge, Tyner in Engineering and me wherever is most needed, we’re able to get people and equipment working without bursting into song. Playing two hours a session, three times a day, we’ve managed to fix the impulse drive and navigation, and are limping our way to a starbase. Maybe when this is all done, the three of us can put together a concert.

In the meantime, Lieutenant Perez and her team are working on a way to reprogram the Impulsive to destroy the Cybersong virus once and for all. Donna – Lieutenant Perez – says Ensign Doall has been instrumental in their progress, but that she’s showing a suspiciously advanced understanding of what’s a complicated code even for her people, who are experts in the field. Doall is amazing, we all know that, but even some things should be beyond her natural talent.

She’s acting unusual in other situations, too. Distracted. Humming. And not just any humming. Falling 6th, falling 5th, followed by sol-do-ti-do. I’d almost call it a mashup, except they’re in different keys. And her tone is improving along with her coding.

I have some suspicions, but she and I aren’t confidants, even under normal circumstances. Fortunately, there’s someone on my team who is.

Lieutenant Leslie Straus called out, “Hold the lazivator!”

Ellie kept the door open out of habit and good nature, but she didn’t want to see her friend. She really didn’t want to see anyone at the moment. Raoul and the two programmers who were working with him had run into a stumbling block and were depending on her insight. When she’d looked at the code, she’d understood enough to know about where the problem was, but not how to solve it. She needed to get to her quarters, shut her eyes and contact her mentor.

As she waited, she leaned against the wall and let her eyes flutter closed. She could almost hear the phantom voice.

JANBOT (Tune of “Music of the Night” from Phantom of the Opera – starting mid-verse.)

Let your mind open up now to a strange language
Never mind that you don’t know where you are
Close your eyes, let the program take control!
And you’ll code like you could not code before.

“Oh, thanks!” Leslie said cheerily as she bounced into the lazivator. “Well, hey, stranger. Been a while since I’ve seen you.”

“Sorry. I’ve had a lot going on.” She was tired and her head was spinning. She wanted to go to her quarters, turn off the lights, and code. She could hear the phantom voice calling her. If only she could code in her mind and not have to deal with humans…

The doors closed and the lazivator started to move.

Leslie asked, conspiratorially, “A lot going on, or a lot going on?”

The lazivator started a reggae beat.

“What are you talking about?” Ellie asked. Her foot started tapping to the beat and her head cleared.

LESLIE (Tune of “Under the Sea” from Little Mermaid)

It’s just that there’s people talking
About that hunk named Raoul.
That his doe eyes are gazing
Deep into the eyes of you.
When they walk into a room
They see you jump apart.
You’re acting so distracted.
Is it an affair d’heart?
Almost a kiss
Almost a kiss
Nothing is hap’ning
My love life is napping
Way far from bliss.
We’re working hard to save the crew
We’ve got too much work to do.
Please stop the gossip.
Please tell them all it’s
Almost a kiss!
Really? There’s nothing going?
But girl, Raoul is hot.
His feelings sure are showing.
For some reason, yours are not.
You sure you’re feeling all right?
I know things right now are rough.
But you’ve got a friend in me, right?
There’s no need to act so tough.
Almost a kiss!
It was almost a kiss.
I’m getting no action
I can’t get much traction
Working like this.
If we could only save the ship
We’ll have a scene some readers skip
I’m so bored with classy!
I want to get nasty.

Suddenly, it felt like someone rammed an ice pick through Ellie’s skull. Her last line ended in a shriek of “Ow!” and she grabbed her head.

She didn’t realize her knees had buckled until she felt Leslie’s hands supporting her by the elbows. “Ellie! What is it?”

“I…nothing. Just a headache. Seriously, doesn’t all the singing get to you?”

“Well, sure, but not like that. Pulsie, Sickbay level.”

In her mind, Ellie could hear the phantom: I’m here, with you beside you. I’ll mold you and I’ll guide you. Ellie, come to me…

“I’m fine,” she said, though her voice shook. “It’s just a headache.”

“A sudden and intense headache. Look, just have the doc check it out, please?”

Ellie sighed and sang: Okay, if it will please you.

The lazivator got to Sickbay level, and Ellie stepped out and headed down the hall. Once she got to the doors of Sickbay, however, she looked around and seeing empty corridors, went past Sickbay to the next lazivator. She had to get back to her room and to coding.

In her own lift, Leslie counted to 30 then asked, “Pulsie, where’s Ensign Doall?”

The ship answered, “She done skipped right past Sickbay and took a lazivator to crew level. Want me to tell her to get her butt into Sickbay?”

“It’s fine,” Leslie lied. “She probably needs some quiet and a nap. Hey, Chief.”

Dour looked up from here he was squatting, his back to the wall, his arms around his knees. “Quiet is futility. Naps are no respite.”

He was gone before she could respond. She shrugged.

Leslie continued to the gym as if she weren’t worried about her friend and the security of the ship. She’d let the LT know when they met in the Captain’s ready room. Instead, she sang to herself.

Almost a kiss
Almost a kiss
Wow, that’s frustrating…

…are you all hating that I ended like this?
Earworms really are a drag.
But this week’s blog is in the bag.

Come back on Wednesday
That’s when you’ll find your way
To more fun like this.