Space Traipse: Hold My Beer

Now Playing: Lone Star



Join the adventures of the HMB Impulsive as it explores the galaxy, proving humans are crazy enough to do anything. Don’t believe me? Hold my beer & watch.


Captain Jeb Tiberius: He’s a good ol’boy with the best job in the world, a crazy-competent (or is that crazy, competent?) crew, and a ship with wikadas shields. Under his command, there’s nothing the Impulsive can’t do and won’t try.

First Officer Commander Benedict Smythe: Dry of wit and unending in patience, this Englishman has more fun on the ship than he lets on.

Chief Engineer Commander Angus Deary: Miracle worker or mad scientist of engineering? “Can I make the ship do that, Captain? Ach. Hold mah beer.”

Security Chief Lt. Enigo Guiermo Ricardo Montoya Guiterrez LaFuentes: Raised in the gang-divided generation ship, the Hood, even Union Fleet Academy couldn’t take the street out of him.

Helmsman Lt. Tonio Cruz: He’s a pilot and Italian. Do not ask him to fly the ship and talk at the same time.

Ops Officer Ellie Doall: She’s always ready to anticiapate the captain’s commands, work miracles and cover the other officers’ butts. Just ask her.

Science Officer (and ship’s sexy) Loreli: A plant-based sentient life form, she’s not only the most competent and intelligent person on the ship (next to Doall), she’s also dedicated to wearing tight outfits that accentuate every curve of her ridiculously amazing figure, and being completely unattainable to the crew, romantically.

Transporter Chief Dolfrick Dour: By the manipulations of technology he reduced people to their most basic elements and rematerializes them elsewhere. Is it any wonder he’s 23rd Century Goth?



(Note: Current episodes may not have all links live. Please check the dates.)

Episode 1: Best Laid Plans of Vegetation and Cybernetic Beings: The fun begins! The HMB Impulsive has a routine diplomatic mission – to assist two warring planets to acheive peeace through marriage by ferrying the prince to his wedding. But when the oriunce falls for the ship’s sexy (yes, that’s her title), and the Cybers attack, it’s far from routine. Improvisation and human hold-my-beer ingenuity save the day and the wedding.

Episode 2: The Polarity Panic: The HMB Impulsive responds to a distress signal. Can they save an alien ship they know nothing about? By Keptar, hold their beers and watch!

Episode 3: Foot in the Door When Loreli is attached by xenophobic terrorists and left for dead, her body defends itself by taking root in the soil. However, her fight to save her life causes an interplanetary incident that could destroy peace in the area – and cost the lives of her friends on the Impulsive.

Episode 4: Day in the Life: It’s “filler” time! (As in “Filler Episode”)

Part 1: Meet Janbot, what Roombah wants to be when it evolves.

Part 2: What are your quarterly safety briefings like? Bet they aren’t like the Impulsive Security Team’s.

Part 3: Wherein we learn what a party animal a gelatinous life form can be.

Part 4: How does a teleporter chief handle destroying his friends and rebuilding them with every away mission? Find out!

Part 5: Janbot checks in on Ensign Mary Sue—no! Doall! Ensign Ellie Doall!

Part 6: Why would anyone ask a stupid question in one of LaFuentes’ safety briefings? Find out this week.

Part 7: Smythe has a secret! No, I’m not telling you what it is. Go read the installment!

Part 8: Don’t miss this one – it’s important later (and it’s pretty funny right now.)

Part 9: So what was this episode really about? Find out this week.

Episode Five: Lone Star: The Impulsive finds the lost deep space generation ship, Lone Star. However, it’s in the midst of a civil war as half the crew tries to stop the other from genocide of an alien species. But is it genocide, or evolution?

Part 1: It’s ST:TOS “The Cloud Miners” meets Dallas in this new episode, when the Impulsive find a long-lost generation ship, the Lone Star. (1/31/18)

Part 2: It’s brother against brother – literally – as Captain Tiberius discovers his long-lost cousins are in the middle of a shooting war. (2/7/18)

Part 3: Headaches Save Lives! And you thought the filler episode was just an aside. (2/21/18)

Part 4: When a beautiful stranger hitches a ride, Capt. Tiberius has a real live one on his hands. Too bad Dour kills her in the teleporter. (She got better.) (2/28/18)

Part 5: Ellie Sue has a pretty face, but is her butt worthy of a follower of Keptar? Jeb does a little evangelizing. (3/7/18)

Part 6: LaFuentes lives every peacekeeping force’s dream. (3/14/18)

Part 7: Bobby Seip reveals why the borthers are fighting – and why the Impulsive must join their side.